


In My Veins

by ihavenoideawhattoputhere



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: Disturbs, Drugs, F/F, Love, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-09
Updated: 2015-12-06
Packaged: 2018-04-30 19:46:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5177426
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ihavenoideawhattoputhere/pseuds/ihavenoideawhattoputhere
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What if one day everything changed and you'd find comfort in the worst place?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Beginning

_We have no idea when she’ll be waking up, it’s been a week already._

Laura was a little innocent girl, an overprotective dad and a 24/7 working mom didn’t help at all. When the robbery happened, everything changed, that little sweet innocent girl no longer belonged in the peace of her own little world, but to the chaos of the real outside world and later on, the chaos of her own mind.

Hospital, 4:50PM

“What happened?”

“Laura we need to have a talk…”

“Where are my parents?”  
“They died Laura, you were in a coma for a month, there was a robbery” As this was being said Laura’s eyes started changing. That was the beginning of it all. The loss of the innocence.

Laura’s House, 8AM

Everything was destroyed, no signs of any valuable belongings, no sign of her parents, no sign of anything, not even her mother’s weeding ring that she usually left at her desk due to not being able to work with it. She was there alone it was now only her, her thoughts and the beginning of her new life, a horrendous new life.

As she goes to the bathroom a completely untouched bottle of pills was at the sink, she was feeling lost, there was no reason to stay there, her parents were gone, everything she cared about disappeared.

_Might as well do it what could a couple of pills do wrong and besides that, what do I have to lose._

Laura’s House, 9PM

As she wakes up, as numb as possible, she realizes that that feeling, the feeling of feeling everything and nothing at all at once was the best she had ever experienced.

But was it enough? A bottle of pills? Was that enough?

Yes it was, but not for her, she wanted something more, she didn’t want to feel everything and nothing at the same time, she wanted to forget, not to think, to actually not feel anything.

She searched, she did it hard until she could find the perfect drug, the perfect way out of this world.

Street, 5PM

A week passed through and all she could find was a few joints of the worst weed ever that some kid on the street sold her, but once again, that wasn’t even close from what she wanted, she wanted something stronger, something to numb the pain.

As she walks through a few dark streets she notices something happening, some guy giving something to a kid, it was dark, she couldn’t see much, but she wasn’t stupid, Laura Hollis could be a lot of things, but she wasn’t stupid and clearly all the innocence she had had disappeared from the moment she woke up at that hospital’s bed.

_Ok Laura you can do this._

“Do you have anything?”

“What?”  
“If you have anything, you know, something..”  
“Look kid, you’re not even old enough to buy alcohol and you’re asking me to sell you drugs.”

“Please? I really need it.”  
“No, I’m sorry go find somebody else.”

She was disappointed, on TV it actually looked pretty easy to buy drugs on the street, but it wasn’t.

 _God what do I have to do, it’s not my fault a look 5 years younger._  
As she gives up trying to actually buy something and leaves that guy she had just met approaches her again.

 “Wait kid. Aren’t you the one whose parents were killed at that robbery? I think I saw it on the news”

Laura’s face turned pale, she had never been asked about it, she had never talked about it, she had no idea what to respond.

“Yes” That was all she managed to come out with.

“Ok, you do realize that drugs aren’t going to help you at all right? It will only make things worse, but I can manage to get you something, but it is strong so you need to be careful. Meet me here tomorrow at 5PM, I’ll take you to some place and we’ll get you something”

As that tall guy, whose name you didn’t even get to know left, you started to think about what you were doing, but it didn’t really matter, once again, what did you have to lose?

Town’s Dealer’s House, 6PM

“Are you kidding me? That’s a kid, how old is she? 14? I am not going to sell her anything she’s probably an undercover cop or something like that I cannot be risking myself this way you know I have already been warned out by the police”

_Who does he think he is, he really must think I can’t hear him_

“She’s 17 and I quite believe she is not a cop, she’s the one whose parents died on that robbery”

As this was being said, Laura approached the room.

There was a lot of material there, jars, tubes, plants, pills and a whole bunch of things she had never imagined seeing in her life.

“So are you going to get me something or not?”  
“Let the grownups talk kid, this is not your business”  
“Actually it is, you don’t know how my head works, my maturity and most of all my life experience.”  
“Lower your voice please I am not one of your rich friends”  
“Sorry… It’s just.. I really need something, something to make me forget about all the bullshit that has been happening, I need to forget about who I am and who I was for a while”  
“If you want something fine. Take this.”

_  
What is this, how do I even use this. Do I roll it and smoke?_

“You look like a lost bird kid, want me to show you how it works?”  
“Sure, why not.”  
As he opened the bag a weird scent came out of it, she had no idea what it was but she sure as hell wanted to try it.

“This is called MD, you open the bag, pour a little on whatever you want, even though a cell phone is the best place, you pick a card, any card even you ID and then you crash the crystals make a line and snort it, and it’s better when you use a straw. Can you do it?”  
Laura was nervous, she had never done this before. She didn’t know the effects or what consequences it would bring but she still did it.

And it was amazing, too much. The perfect sensation of the dust entering her nose as her blood rushed throughout her body. That was it. What she needed. And now she didn’t want anything else, at least, she thought so.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> About the fic:  
> This is my first time writing anything so any kind of comment is appreciated. English is not my first language so I'm sorry for the mistakes you might find. Hope you enjoy this. I don't know yet how many chapters this will have it depends on how people will react to it.  
> I intend on posting a chapter every week. This one is shot but the others I have already written are longer. If I skip a week without uploading it might be because I'm drowning in school work.  
> About the subject:  
> I don't promote at all any kind of the disturbs or addictions presented in this fic.  
> Also if you're struggling with any of this issues don't hesitate in coming to me so I can either help you or give you some contact from your country in order to solve your problem.


	2. The Underground

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She fucked it all up this time

 

 

 

Laura’s House- 5AM

As she was on her laptop she saw something, something that caught her attention. Her friends had already told her about it but she was never curious enough to try it. This time was different because she wanted it, needed it. She picked up her phone, quickly dialed the number, and waited for someone to answer.   
_“Who’s this?”_ A male voice finally spoke from the other end.   
“It’s Laura, Kirsch.”  
_“Oh hi L. How have you been?”_  
“Fine what about you?”  
_“You know I’m always fine as long as there’s beer and chicks.”_  
“You really never change do you? Anyway look, do you remember telling me about those underground parties? I believe you call them raves.”  
_“Yes I do why? Is Laura `Innocence’ Hollis interested in going to one?”_  
 “Actually Wilson ‘I am only ok surrounded by boobs’ Kirsch, yes I am interested.”  
_“For real? JP and I are going to one today, wanna come?”_  
 “Sure, what time?”  
_“We’re meeting at our usual spot around 11 PM, meet us there?”_  
“Yes, I’ll be there.”  
_“Good, now go get some sleep because you’ll be going crazy in less than 24 hours.”_

 Park- 11:30PM  
As she gets closer to their usual spot she senses a scent, the typical “they must be close” scent.  
“Hey L. You really can’t ever get here on time can you?”  
 “Sorry guys I had to go grab something before coming here”  
“So… wanna smoke?”

 “Sure.”

 “Wait, are you serious?”

 “Yes why wouldn’t I be?”

 “Because you’re Laura ‘I will never touch drugs, alcohol or anything bad for my health apart from cookies’ Hollis”  
“Well life’s a day right?”

 “That’s my girl”  
She smiled trying to hide how nervous she really was inside. How were they going to react when she told them what she had brought?   
“So guys, I brought something”

 “What is it?”

 “MD, I don’t know if you’ve ever heard about it.”

 “Laura are you insane? Those are real drugs, as in destructive ones."

 “Well why don’t you try it, it is actually pretty good.”  
Kirsch was shocked but curious at the same time, his sister died from heroin overdose so his experience with drugs wasn’t the best but what harm could a little line of heaven do?  
“Oh fuck it, let’s do it” He said as she was already opening the bag with some purple substance in it. The first one was white, the second brown , but this one was purple .  
Purple MD is the strongest of them all but she could handle it pretty well, scarily too well.

Underground Party- 3AM

Loud noises, a scary amount of drugged people, and way too much vomit on the floor is what this place is consisted of.   
It was a large two-storey building, and at the front of both floors was a little stage with the DJ that was getting really into the music.  
In every corner of the room you’d have someone trying to sell you something, good or not.  
Of course by this time Laura wasn’t herself anymore, with so many options to choose from, how could she be ok. She wasn’t to the point of making out with pretty much every girl in the bathroom. She didn’t feel anything, she was as numb as possible but girls seemed to be enjoying that entirely too much.  
 “Dude what’s happening to me?”

 “I have no idea but you’re pale as fuck. I’m going to get you some sugar wait here”

 As Kirsch goes to the bar to get JP a bottle of water and sugar JP starts convulsing, maybe that inexperienced boy shouldn’t have done the amount of drugs he did.  
The underground parties were mostly safe, but if you caught the wrong people there, it could become really dangerous.  
“Laura JP is so not ok we should get him to the hospital”  
“Everything ok, don’t worry, everything’s going to be ok”

 “Laura what the hell! JP is not ok! ”  
“Stop yelling for fucks sake, go take care of momma's boy, i’m out of here”  
“Don’t you ever try talking to me again Laura!”

Laura’s House- 6PM

As Laura wakes up she realizes she can barely move her jaw and eating is something completely out of question. She had never felt like this.  
Time passes on and she starts to remember the night before. That’s when it hits her how much she had fucked up so she decides to call Kirsch which was probably the worst idea ever.  
“Kirsch how’s JP?”

_“What? Now that you’re not drugged to your bones and making out with everyone you want to care?”_

“Kirsch I was not ok, I’m sorry, could you just tell me how he is?”

_“He died Laura, he died on his way to the hospital”_

 “What? Shit. How the fuck did that happen?”

_“Some guy stuck an acid patch on him and he tripped to the point of losing his mind, and when he was on the ambulance he though the nurse was kidnaping him so he grabbed a knife and killed himself”_  
This is it, right when she thought it couldn’t get worse, it did, and now she lost one out of the 4 people she had left still in her life.  
_“Yes L. is everything ok?”_

 “Laf…”   
As Laura starts crying Lafontaine realizes something is seriously wrong, Laura Hollis doesn't cry.  
_“I’m meeting you at your apartment in 30 ok? Stay safe”_

 By the time they got to Laura’s apartment she was already laying on the floor.  
“Laura wake the fuck up please”  
Finally after a hour of waiting Lauren wakes up.   
“Laf? What are you doing here?”

 “I told you I was coming what happened?”

 “JP died… And it was my fault”  
“What? How did he….?”

 As Laura explains them what happened they get upset, to the point of throwing things at the wall and leaving the house completely out of their mind.

 

_I really fucked up this time_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Took me a little longer to publish this than what was expected because this time this was reviewed first. hope you enjoy it! all kinds of opinions are well appreciated. Also I'm quite a big fan of cliffhangers and plottwists but the best is yet to come!


	3. Perhaps, they found eachother

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> and then it begins

Street, 7PM

Of course that, after a while the drugs Laura was taking were not doing anything anymore, she needed something more, something stronger.

So it happened, she went to her dealer’s house and got it. She had to try it. The beautiful special K more known as Ketamine the horse’s tranquilizer.

And that, that was good. That gave her the numbness she needed.

She snorts it and it hits her right away making her fall on the floor completely unaware of her critical state.

Laura’s House, 12PM

A year has passed, it’s been a year since JP died and it’s been over a year since Laura’s world fell apart.

She now weighs 88 lbs. She’s all skin and bone.

By this time she wasn’t on soft drugs anymore, she wasn’t on MD, MDMA, Speed, Cocaine or Ketamine, by this time, Laura would stick a needle in her arm and lay on the floor numbing herself to sleep.

She wasn’t ok, she was far from ok, and she was lost. She gave up on college, she stopped talking to her friends, she lost everyone. It was just her and the sweet diamorphine or as typically called, heroin.

_“She speaks to me in Persian_

_Tells me that she loves me_

_The girl with golden eyes_

_And though I hardly know her_

_I let her in my veins_

_And trust her with my life”_

It’s now Christmas time and there she is, alone on her own house where a bit more than a year ago everything was perfect.

But now all she could do was listening to the same song over and over again.

_“December 25th._

_Merry Christmas. Well, that's what people say on Christmas, right? Except for normally they have somebody to say it to. They have friends and family. They haven't been crouched naked under a Christmas tree with a needle in their arm like an insane person in a mansion in Van Nuys. They're not outta their minds, they're not writing in a diary, and they're definitely not watching their Holiday spirit coagulate in a spoon._

_I didn't speak to a single person today. I thought, why should I ruin their fuckin' Christmas?_

_I've started a new diary and this time I got a few new reasons. One: I have no friends left. Two: so I can read back and remember what I did the day before. And three: so if I die, at least I leave a nice little suicide note of my life._

_It's just me and you, diary. Welcome to my fuckin' life.”_

  
  
Cartel’s Place, 6PM

“Karnstein wake up! You’re literally the worst cartel leader ever”  
“Leave me alone just for five more minutes please”

“I can’t you’re meeting them in a hour and we both know it takes you three to get ready”  
“Ok ok I’ll get up”

This is Carmilla Karnstein, the leader of the biggest gun and drug cartel of the whole country. Everyone knows her even the police but also everyone knows that if you mess with her you’re most likely to get your head cut off so might as well stay away from her.

A lot of people worked there, most of them were kids, small kids who lost their family and lived on the street, they were peaceful and Carmilla didn’t really send them to the hard jobs.

“Carmilla what’s lunch today?”  
“It’s literally 6:30PM go ask Will to get you something”

Carmilla goes to the meeting and comes back. By that time there’s a girl laying on the giant sofa on their hall.

It’s a blonde girl, small and quite pretty.

“Who shall this be?”  
“I found her on the street with a needle in her arm sister, thought you’d like”

“Interesting, let’s see what she can give us”

Carmilla’s Room, 10PM

“Took you a while to wake up cutiepie”

“What the hell? Who are you? Where am I? What happened?”  
“You ask way too many questions, I believe you’re my new helper”

“What do you mean?”  
“You were found on the street by my brother, if he had found you 30 minutes later you’d be dead by now”  
“So I owe you a thank you?”  
“I believe so. But let’s get our business done, this is a guns and drugs cartel and from now on you’ll work for me and I give you drugs, what do you think?”  
Laura wasn’t really awake yet, the drugs were still in her system and her whole vision was still blurry but the offer seemed pretty tempting. Drugs for free? Why not?

“Sure but what kind of jobs are you on about?”  
“You’ll see now get some sleep”

Carmilla’s Room, 12AM

_What am I doing I don’t even know her, but she sure as hell is beautiful and those leather pants really suit her._

“So you sleep through the day and stay awake at night?”  
As Carmilla turns Laura is on the window looking outside. There was a giant park lots of flowers and trees, how could a drug cartel be so close to nature?

“I was waiting for you to wake up, we need to get you some practice”  
“Practice on what?”  
“Hold this”  
Carmilla hands Laura a gun and Laura frowns.

“What the heck do you expect me to do with this, am I supposed to kill people? You did not mention this”

“Calm down creampuff you’re not likely to have to kill anyone but just in case you need it you should probably know how to use it”

Gun Training Center, 2AM

_She looks cute holding that gun. Carmilla what the fuck are you thinking she literally looks like a virgin sacrifice. Do not fall for the new girl we both know that that didn’t go so well the first time._

“Carmilla are you listening?”  
Carmilla wakes up from her thoughts and realizes that Laura has been speaking to her for at least 5 minutes

“Yes yes what do you want?”  
“Did it go well? Am I good?”  
_Yes you are and you would look even better in my bed_

“Yes you did well”

Carmilla’s Room, 3PM

_She really is beautiful. What is she doing to me, she’s naïve, and she’s a child._

_“No, please don’t, don’t shoot me”_  
“Laura, wake up you’re just having a nightmare!”  
Laura wakes up crying

“This is not ok, they shouldn’t have died it should’ve been me”  
“Look, I am not, for sure, the best psychologist you could find but I know that if you stood alive it had to be for some reason”

“But I don’t want to live, I don’t want to be here, I don’t want this”

“Well but now you’re stuck with me so get over it sunshine”

Cartel’s Bathroom, 9PM

As Carmilla sees blood on the floor she enters the bathroom in a rush just to find Laura laying on the floor with sliced wrists.

_From all the stupid acts you could’ve done you really tried to get yourself killed?_

Laura wakes up after Carmilla cleaned her up.

“Why did you do that?”

“Because you live with me so I take care of you so stop acting childish”

“It’s not like that, I didn’t choose to be like this, I didn’t choose to stay alive and I sure as hell didn’t choose to come here”

“Yes but you’re here either you want it or not so behave yourself. But for now go rest a bit, you lost a lot of blood you need to get yourself together”

Cartel’s Living room, 3PM

It’s been three days since Laura haven’t taken any drugs, she doesn’t feel good, she doesn’t feel close from good, and actually, this is the worst she’s ever been.

“You’re not going to get any more drugs from me sweetheart I’m sorry, you’re smart, the smartest I’ve ever had here and I won’t be the cause of you ruining yourself”

“But you promised, you said that if I did what you ordered you’d give them to me”

“And you expected that the head of a cartel kept her promises?”

“Well actually yes, I’m sorry for expecting anything good coming from you”  
As Laura leaves the living room Carmilla sits on the couch thinking about what she had said.

_Am I really like this? This girl makes me what to actually take care of her. Am I that bad of person trying to save her from this? It can’t be that bad._

“I’m sorry”

Carmilla wakes up from her thoughts.

“What?”

“I was rude I’m sorry”

“It’s ok”

“ I think I have a problem… with drugs you know?”  
“What do you want to do?”

“I want to get fixed”

“Well that might take a while but I believe you can do it.”  


 

Will’s Room, 8PM

“Carm aren’t you getting too attached to that new girl?”

“What? No? Why?”

“You know exactly what happened to Ell, do you want to go through that again? And a bloody naïve girl? You can get so much better.”

“She’s not Ell will, she’s different and she needs to be saved”

“Will you do it?”  
“What?”  
“The chamber. Will you do it?”

“I am thinking about it yes”

“You realize she’s going to hate you right?”  
“Yes, but it’s worth it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for the delay but school has taken my time away. Hope you enjoy this!  
> Also, the song lyrics here refereed are from the band "Sixx Am" if you're interested.


End file.
